smallbrownbird’s Blog

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A new house in a Fairfield and independence November 4, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — smallbrownbird @ 12:45 pm
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The family seems to have such a big impact on how we develop, our personality and impressions especially.  It was recently that a couple of friends and I came to the decision to find a place together. For me this meant leaving the family, the home I have grown up in and . But it also meant leaving their care to a degree and hopefully a growing independence. At home I have everything I could need or want, food, clean clothing, my own personal space, all sorts of entertainments. There has never been anything really that I wanted and didn’t receive at least at some stage. For example even the nintendo that I had wished for since about the age of 5 I got, although in the form of an xbox for my 18th birthday.

I think there is more to independence then just moving out of the family home, at a deeper level it seems to arise in our psychology. Those thoughts and feelings that make me dependent on what other people think and feel about me. Practicing awareness and self observation, it has been interesting to see actions provoked by an image and feeling in my body related to what “I think” people think about me. But it’s just a mumble jumble in my mind, and wonderful to spot, as in that moment, I no longer had to do what it was telling me to.

The town house is in Fairfield or Alphington. Even the various departments like vicroads seem to have trouble identifying where it is. The street we are on is just new.  Trent and Dave, my house mates say G’day below:



It shocks me as quite a big change in environment. I enjoy going home to my family to see them and help out with different things, and returning back to the town house, the contrast can be obvious. Living with two people who are quite keenly practicing the techniques of gnosis is very different. The whole feeling of the house is radically different – I come home and feel like practicing. It is a wonderful help.

Nearby is the Yarra River and its walking tracks, as well as the local Fairfield village. Below is a photo of the nearby Darebin Parklands.

It perhaps marks a new chapter in my life, and hopefully one that will mean a greater understanding of myself and greater self-reliance.


A success with friends and astral projection November 3, 2009

Filed under: Activity,Astral Travel,Dreaming — smallbrownbird @ 4:06 pm
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The group of us at the Melbourne centre decided to get together to celebrate the Beltide over the weekend. A festival celebrating the return of the sun, it has a deep significance.

Desert Sunrise

photograph by idyguy and uploaded from

We decided to honor it by pursuing astral experiences from 6am to about 9am followed by a breakfast then a walk.  These group practices are great as there is a real focus which seems to help everyone there, even when not marking a special event.

I was really keen to get an experience, and achieve the group goal of speaking to someone from the group in the astral.

We started with a concentration on our heart beats. Throughout the morning, I was trying to stay as relaxed as possible to maintain that sleepy state, as we need sleep to have an OBE. It seemed to help as I projected during the second practice, which was where we used a mantra for astral projection. I had been drifting in and out of sleep, and noticed it coming on at one stage. I focused my mind on the mantra and felt the need to stand up, which I did. I was no longer in the physical but the astral.

As soon as I stood up, I remembered the goal and sought out someone to speak to. It seemed the room was full of people. I managed to see a good friend of mine standing in front of me, and we had a brief chat. I then spoke with another friend, although this may have been more of a dream. I also saw people who were part of a teaching about my psychology or inner states.

It became more dreamlike and eventually someone told me that the practice was over and I lay back down on the mattress. I then woke up, only to find the practice still going. 🙂

We kept trying through the morning, and eventually the practices came to a close, with people learning more about the exercises and another person having success getting out of body too.  I spoke with my friend who I had spoken with in the astral: he mentioned that he had fallen asleep during the same practice and dreamed speaking with me. It seemed we were speaking about slightly different things, but that we met and had a chat is pretty corroborative. This is pretty amazing. J

We enjoyed a wonderful breakfast and went for a nice awareness walk in nature – exploring awareness by grounding ourselves in the feeling of the body. I found my mind was chatting away strongly as I walked and discovered if I allowed the feeling of my body as well as the sounds to come into my awareness, it drastically reduced. It is hard to describe when suddenly you are able to perceive more, with some clarity hear, see and feel what is around you.


photograph by boxik and uploaded from

It is a wonderful thing and I hope I can keep practicing it to develop it.


Riding along a sandy beach on a horse’s back November 2, 2009

Filed under: Activity — smallbrownbird @ 10:34 am
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Some friends and I drove to the Mornington Peninsula yesterday, making our way to Ace Hi scenic horse trail rides.

My experience was small, riding on a horse to a slow trot when I was about 12. Most people seemed to have a similar level of experience.




We were each given a horse, based on our experience and weight.

My horse “Blue” – a huge draft horse which seemed quite gentle and had lost one eye to infection a few years ago.


He responded amazingly well to his name: a call of “hurry up Bluey!” would send us into a trot. The leader of the ride seemed to have a strong bond with all the horses, and the they payed close attention to her. A while of struggling to get a horse moving was quickly solved with some quick words from her.


Trotting was a bit painful at first, and I really tried to learn how to sit up and down in rhythm with Blue and avoid the regular whack if I let myself go. I didn’t quite get it, but it improved as we went along.


Mostly walking along a forest track, we eventually made it to the beach for some open cantering.




It struck me when sprinting along the narrow forest path, Blue slowed down to allow me time to dodge under overhanging branches, to speed up again once safely passed.


A wonderful ride, especially when I managed to touch awareness, I would like to try it again sometime, and perhaps take in even more of the surroundings.



A Night of Dreaming September 28, 2009

Filed under: Dreaming — smallbrownbird @ 10:14 pm
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Often I go to bed with a sense of expectation, as if there will be a kind of personal mystery story waiting for me in the morning. Scenes of familiar faces and sometimes unusual circumstances. Very clear experiences that must hold something very valuable – if only I could grasp it…

If you have any trouble with remembering dreams, here is a video that will help:

It is a phrase or mantra that can be pronounced when we wake up in the morning. If you recall a part of a dream repeating the phrase over and over in our mind can bring more back. I like to start with remembering as much as I can, the scenes, what was said, as much detail as I can gather; then try the mantra until there is more.


Experiments in Awareness August 21, 2009

Filed under: Upcoming Talks — smallbrownbird @ 7:40 pm
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It is a common goal of many spiritual groups to be in the here – the now.  Many people have spoken on it. Many try to practice it. Why is it such an emphasized way of being?

Photograph by Robert Lubeck/Animals Animals—Earth Scenes

Photograph by Robert Lubeck/Animals Animals—Earth Scenes

Gazing upon this picture may give a clue.


beauty can strengthen it – and perhaps something inherent to all human beings…

William Bouguereau "Heart's Awakening"

William Bouguereau "Heart's Awakening"

it may have a deep connection with love.

Something worth spending time experimenting with, there’s also a free to join session with Belzebuub about the present moment on this coming weekend: details edit: delayed one week, so feel free to come along this coming Saturday the 29th August.


The Dervish Dance and Good-bye to an old house August 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — smallbrownbird @ 3:59 pm

My Grandmother’s old house is to be sold at auction in a few weeks.  It’s an old house, built during the 1930’s, with charming lead light windows and floral patterned ceilings, one room has some pretty lotus flowers gently facing downward and I always feel tempted to chant a mantra.

Muzz's home

After helping out with an inspection, I took some time to try an exercise I have recently learned called the “Dervish Dance”.

A dance linked to the sufi tradition, the practice here is a combination of three movements that are said to bring about the silencing of the mind.

"brain activity"

"brain activity"

I noticed quite quickly the effect it had when my attention was on what I was doing. It became even more effective when I went back to two movements, concentrating as best I could on each, then trying to hold that focus adding the final one. I noticed thoughts would come up, and losing myself in them would reduce the strength of my attention and the effectiveness of my movements.

Upon stopping I noticed a heightened sense of awareness; a crisper world.

I was surprised at how enjoyable it was, the physical activity and the reduction of my often chaotic stream of thoughts and worries.


A study into near death experiences May 18, 2009

Filed under: Article — smallbrownbird @ 11:08 pm
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I came across an article about near death experiences that was quite interesting. The author gives his opinion on the methodology of a 3 year study running in the US and UK. It seems the basis of the international study is seeking to learn whether cardiac arrest patients who are clinically dead can have out-of-body experiences.


Images have been set up in spots that can only be seen from the air – it is hoped that people who die and are revived can give accurate information about them if they have an out-of-body experience or in this case near-death-experience.

The author emphasizes that there is much anecdotal evidence that already exists and expresses the need for a more personal investigation into the field through practice and individual experience. It is very interesting that there is strong similarities between studies like this one and on OBE’s or astral projection. Though across the net and around the world many people tell of their own experiences out of body, we would still like science to prove that it’s possible for us. Thankfully we don’t have to rely on those stories or on science – the practices are there so we can prove it for ourselves. How amazing is that?

The world’s largest study of NDEs – how useful is it?

It gives a very interesting perspective and moves me to push with the exercises a bit more deeply.

The orginal article announcing the study on the BBC website: